I haven't had time to write this year because I've been busy. Truly this year, I felt that I couldn't stop pouring myself into my work.
I used to be good. I used to recommend treating your work like a swimming pool, and being intentional getting in & out: keeping the phone out of the bedroom, not checking emails until an hour after I wake up, etc.
This year I popped the floatie and dove in. I snuck onto NVIDIA's campus to sell to them in January. I started waking up at midnight and checking my emails.
I'll never forget a massage where I told the masseuse I had a DocuSign coming and I stared at my phone through the massage table. She thought I was insane when I asked her to pause.
I took off my Apple Watch and Oura ring. I don't want to see my sleep score. 11 months in, my lower back hurts, I need to stretch, and I've never been fatter.
I have 1,600 texts and 500 missed calls. I'm a bad friend, sibling, and son.
But I've never been so fulfilled.
You see, most people try to make life 5% better each year, but you only truly live when you've laughed and cried in the same day, better yet, the same hour.
Life is not meant to be balanced. I now understand the pool metaphor is not about getting in or out, but about submerging and being wet or towelling off and getting dry.
5% better
You do 3 remodels a year. You set goals and hobbies. You might read more this year. How many books?
But what if you burned it to the ground?
Take the big swing you've dreamed of.
Nothing lasts forever. Take the debt with your body.
I got married this year too. While peers are having trouble with commitment looking for "5% better," I left my laptop at home mid-negotiation of our acquisition and disappeared for a week to profess the love I have for my wife. I cried saying my vows.
This is a ramble to say I got everything I ever wanted by demanding it so and rejecting every piece of advice given. I burned my 401k. I proposed on shrooms. I lived in the office for the last 7 years. Life will give you everything you want if you demand it.
But you have to demand it.
You have to laugh and cry in the same day. You have to take the Apple Watch off. You have to ruin your massage.
But it's okay. You'll pay off the life debt.
Your wife would rather a week together with your full attention.
Your friends will enjoy a FaceTime 1 week late more than a prompt reply to "how are things." But let's all call our mom more.
A month of religious yoga will fix your lower back. Fast and lose some weight.
Debt can be paid off much faster than searching for the light inside you once it's been put out.
Let it rip.